I'm laying in your front yard are you home
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
