I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
