Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
