Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
and i looked up. we had an audience...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
