Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
