I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
