I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
