ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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