Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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