he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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