is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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