i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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