I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
