Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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