I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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