Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Me too!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
