on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
