I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She announced her abortion via fbk
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
