this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
