I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
