I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
