He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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