I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
