your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
