that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
