The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
