I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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