why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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