oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
