No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
