brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
