your room smells of hookers.
And success
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
