I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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