i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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