Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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