ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
