I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
