I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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