so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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