As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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