you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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