I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
