And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
