Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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