Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
