Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
