Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
