I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
