She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
