Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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