Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
